Wolf Blitzer is High as a Motherfucker

02Jun08

Over the weekend, we learned that Harold Ickes is willing to go to the convention for Hillary, where he maintains the DNC will somehow change their mind about the fact that they are going with Obama, and have in fact already voted on it. We also learned that Tatum O’Neal got busted trying to score crack. The reason she gave: “She was preparing for a role,” which is basically the equivalent of Mike Tyson saying he is preparing for a fight. But on Friday, the very foundation of the media shook when Wolf Blitzer basically said he smoked pot.

Breaking news immediately after: millions of teenagers will now never smoke pot because Wolf Blitzer did, and after all, look how he turned out. See, it is a dangerous road out there, and drugs are not to be taken lightly. You could end up hanging out with the journalistic version of Oscar the Grouch, running into the guy that believes that an illegal immigrant will take his job after he says something “too honest” about race, and wondering how exactly Anderson Cooper became the new face of your network after simply showing up in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans and saying that the Bush Administration, surprise surprise, did some fucked up shit again (I mean, If that’s the criteria, how did they not give it to Kanye?!).

You’d have to be high as a motherfucker to call them “the best political team in news.”

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